Understanding Stress
I think there’s some confusion around the word “stress”
And little wonder, we hear about stress in so many ways;
“I feel stressed”
“It’s a stressful time”
“We have a culture of stress”
“It’s a high-stress job”
“We’re under a lot of stress!”
In fact, we now stress about being so stressed!
More than ever we hear “you need to manage your stress”. Stress Management is cited as one of the foundations of good health. Studies are showing that “Being under heavy stress shortens their life expectancy by 2.8 years.” (1). And, in Ayurveda, Stress is considered one of The Ten Factors of Health and Illness (2).
No doubt stress is a growing concern!
But it can feel elusive and practically impossible to solve.
Often we look at things like the job, the co-worker, the project, the family, the political climate, significant world issues, our bank accounts, our clients etc… as the sources of stress. In our current environment it can feel like it’s all happening at once. I often hear a certain hopelessness about it. Clients tell me “it's just how things are right now”, that they just have to deal with it until [the job changes, the project ends, the kids get older, the boss moves on, tax season is over etc…
Is it hopeless? Do we need to wait until a more ideal time to manage our stress?
I don’t believe so. But to manage something, you have to understand it - so let’s unpack it!
Let’s start with a definition.
A super-simple definition is that STRESS IS A STATE OF IMBALANCE. To experience stress means something has moved, shifted, stretched, pushed, mis-aligned, outside the norm, out of harmony - is out of balance. In Ayurveda, imbalance is created whenever something is aggravated or depleted. Meaning, something has occurred that has shifted us away from our ideal state of being.
We should also understand that balance or harmony is an innate, natural state. It’s the state that is always seeking to be restored. Most of the time it happens quickly and easily and we don’t even notice it. Restoring harmony can be as easy as putting on a coat when you’re cold or having something to eat when you’re hungry.
But imagine if this wasn’t an easy response or a response you had access to? Then the persistent state of imbalance becomes the problem. Ayurveda also tells us that it’s imbalance that is the cause of all disease. So this sense of dis-ease you’ve been feeling is the indication that something is out of balance and the restoring of balance is not happening naturally or easily.
It’s also important to understand that if stress is a state of imbalance, then stress is NOT the thing ( the job, the person, the bank statement, the political leader, the climate). It's a matter of CAUSE and EFFECT. The thing might be the cause but STRESS is the effect. And it’s an effect that creates dis-harmony, imbalance, dis-ease.
An analogy I like to use is of an elastic band. Its utility is from the sheer design that when stretched, it can hold things together. In the state of perfect balance, it does its job perfectly. In the perfect state, it’s got a little room for more but it could also hold a little less. Anything beyond those points and things get a little dicey for the elastic. Too much more and it risks tightness, fatigue and break. Too few things and it won’t hold anything at all.
Like the elastic band, we all have a natural state of elasticity-ness. A little more, a little less stress is not a problem - in fact a little stretchiness is good, it’s often the place where we grow, increase or expand our capacities. The elastic band analogy also shows us that stress is a highly personal experience. Each elastic band has a different capacity, a different threshold and a different level of utility. And so each might respond to the bundle of pencils or popsicle sticks differently - what’s an easy job for one will snap the other. Like the elastic band, our state of balance or our set-point is unique and highly personalized. Stress is not the same for everyone. Our triggers and responses are as different as our fingerprints. This is one of the reasons there are so many stress-management techniques out there. And while there are some mutually agreed upon techniques to manage stress (eg. meditation, exercise, “chilling”, taking holidays), even under these very broad categories it can be a challenge to figure out what will work best for you.
What do I do about it?
Now that we’ve defined stress, understand it’s an effect (not a thing) and a state of imbalance, this certainly is the next logical question.
The first step is to really understand the sources of stress in your life. While you may point to the really obvious things; the job, the co-worker, the project, the politics etc.., you would be surprised to learn about some of the other, perhaps less obvious ways you’re accumulating stress.
As an Ayurvedic coach, one of the first places I examine with a client is their LIFESTYLE. What you do each and every day is the best first step to finding the root cause(s), and practical solutions. Put another way, we look at the things you can control (with the greatest ease) before trying to tackle those beyond your control, or at least direct control. While a simple approach, it is extremely effective and empowering. It will increase your calm, clarity and ease you feel in your day - creating more moments of balance and harmony.
To me, there is no more effective way of managing stress. It’s not in the big disruptive changes or at some elusive point in the future, it can happen for you in this moment..and then the next.
Next Steps?
Ready to get started? Start by tracking your days: what you do, when you do it, how you do it. weekdays vs weekends, your schedule, who you spend time with, how you work, how you spend your down-time. Look for the major themes; how do you feel about them, what are your foundations?
And then pick one or two things that you could make less stressful. They need to be; simple to do, within your control, don’t require the world to change about you (or for everyone else to do differently).
This first step can be illuminating! It eases the burden or hopelessness of waiting for something around you to change, the time to be right, the project to end, the co-worker to leave - and it will leave you less stressed and more empowered.
You’ve just taken the first step to restoring your balance and harmony!
And if you’d like some help, guidance, inspiration and accountability, I’d love to hear from you.
Book Your Stress-Cycle Consultation HERE: https://calendly.com/kimfulton108/stress-cycle-consultation
________________
1) National Institute for Health and Welfare. (2020, March 11). Heavy stress and lifestyle can predict how long we live. ScienceDaily. Retrieved July 21, 2024 from www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2020/03/200311100857.htm
2) Lad, Vasant. The Complete Book of Ayurvedic Home Remedies. New York, Three Rivers Press, 1998
